Crush Parody

Capo 1
Bm B G
When I talked to her tonight
I used some words that might not be right
It was weird, I was weird
Cause when I spoke to her, I told her she
Should date me and be my girl
I was weird, I think she’s scared

Bm G
Why did I communicate the truth?
I just wanted her to be my boo
Now it’s awkward, I feel like a nerd, and I just got to know

[Chorus]
G D
When you tell a girl, that you smell her hair
Bm A
When she passes you, is it really fair
G D
To call you crazy and bizarre
Bm A
All I wanted to do was DTR
G D
Now when I call or just say hi
Bm A
She won’t talk to me, she just walks on by
G D
Cause God told me she’s my soul mate
Bm A G D
A G D Bm A G
But He forgot to tell her the same thing about me

Bm B G
Have I ever crossed your mind? I asked her
For the 5th time, She shook her head
Said, “Don’t text me anymore, anymore”
I said, “I’m ready to commit”
I want you to have my kids and I
Know that you’re just, just a sophomore, a sophomore

[Chorus]

Bm G
Why did say what I thought was right?
I just wanted her to be my wife
Now she’s running from me, trying to tazer me…and I just got to know

G D
When you tell a girl, that you dream of her
Bm A
Holding your hand, and giving birth
G D
As the mother of your little tots
Bm A
Is it normal for her to call the cops?
G D
Now when I call or just say hi
Bm A
She won’t talk to me, she just walks on by
G D
Cause God told me she’s my soul mate
Bm A G D
A G D Bm A G
But He forgot to tell her the same thing about me

Teardrops Parody

G Em C D
We’re here at RADIATE, most of time it’s really great
G Em C D
But I know that things get weird, when it’s time for bed, you head upstairs
Em C G
I’ll bet you didn’t know, all you men out there
D
You’d share a bed with someone that had excessive hair

G Em C D G
We’re here at RADIATE, and all the girls just can’t wait
Em C D
To hang out in their rooms at night, and talk until the morning light
Em C
“You have amazing style.”, “I really love her shoes!”
G D
“I wonder if he knows she Facebook stalks his every move?!”

G D Em
Guys and girls are at this conference here in DC
C G
But in their rooms, the experience is completely
D Em C
Different, unalike, varying, on a separate plane

G Em C D
RADIATE this year, is better than a stuffed deer
G Em C D
But when the dude next to you snores, you want to push him on the floor
Em C
And say, “please shut up. I’m trying to get some rest…
G D
And if you make another noise, I’ll punch you in the chest!”

[Chorus]

Em C G
So girls paint their toes, braid each other’s hair
D
Eat turkey sandwiches and borrow clothes they want to wear

G D Em
Guys and girls are at this conference here in DC
C G
Their rooms are plush, the conference rocks, the metro smells like pee
D Em C
Either way, you’ll agree, RADIATE is sumptuous
G D
Livin’ life, that’s a lot, different at the Marriot
Em C
And it’s fun for us

G Em C D G
RADIATE this year, is better than a stuffed deer

In the mean time, I’ve been asked to post the lyrics of the songs. I will post a blog with those lyrics very soon.

Until then, do me a favor…

…take care of yourself.

I feel so blessed to have been a part of such an amazing conference. God did incredible things in DC and I pray that you enjoyed yourself as much as I did.

Check back here with me every now and then and I’ll let you know what’s going on with me. In the mean time, I will be doing the majority of my blogging at my website, www.shelbyabbott.com, so saunter on over and read up on what’s up with me.

Thanks for a spectacular conference!

Have a safe and great Christmas, everyone. I look forward to spending the end of 2008 with you all in D.C. and can’t wait to see what God will do while we are there. In the meantime, here is a list of things you won’t need to bring to the conference (just so you don’t waste any packing space):

1. Shower cap.
2. Goggles.
3. House slippers.
4. “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets”.
5. Pinball machine.
6. Push pins/cork board.
7. Rake.
8. Comic books.
9. Firewood.

That about covers it. Bring everything else. See you soon!

So, here’s my Christmas post: Earlier, I mentioned that I would like a calendar that is made up entirely of quotes from the movie “Elf”. Sadly, that calendar does not exist (as far as I know), so I’m just going to make a list of some of my favorite quotes from “Elf”. If you don’t understand some of these, they make more sense in context and you should see the movie again. Here goes…

1. Francisco…that’s fun to say.
2. It’s like Santa’s workshop, except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.
3. Good news: I saw a dog today.
4. That’s a nice purple sweater…very purple-y.
5. Can I listen to your necklace?
6. That’s shocking.
7. You smell like beef and cheese.
8. Is there sugar in syrup?
9. Tickle fight!
10. Then to finish, we’ll snuggle.
11. Okay, I love you. I’ll call you in five minutes.
12. I’m a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins.
13. I feel really warm when I’m near you, and my tongue swells up.
14. I like to whisper too.
15. What’s a Christmas-gram? I want one!

There’s more. Oh, there’s so much more, but I’ll leave it at that for now. Get ready for Christmas, people, because it’s coming! And get ready for RADIATE, ’cause that’s coming really soon too! I can’t wait!

1. A case of Dapper Dan Hair Cream.
2. A fiddle. Not a violin, a fiddle.
3. A Fathead of Hugh Laurie’s face for the blank spot on my wall.
4. For “Arrested Development” to come back on the air.
5. For more than 50 people to wish me a happy birthday on my Facebook wall.
6. A RADIATE sweatshirt that zips in the front…but not with a metal zipper, one with a plastic zipper…the metal zippers bunch up when I’m sitting down and I don’t like waves of sweatshirt cascading down my chest to my belly.
7. A size Small unicorn t-shirt (preferably a brightly colored one, like pink or orange).
8. The ability to see 2 minutes and 30 seconds into the future…like Nicolas Cage in the movie “Next”.
9. A Bright Copper Kettle.
10. For Lexus commercials to be permanently taken off the air.
11. Heelys.